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Dating People Who Look and Feel Like Your Narcissistic Ex: A Common Mistake

Writer's picture: Homeyra FaghihiHomeyra Faghihi

As a psychotherapist and a coach, I often see clients who leave a narcissistic relationship but then start dating similar people. This happens more often than you might think and can make it hard to heal and grow.


Why Does This Happen?

There are a few reasons why people might choose partners who remind them of their narcissistic ex:

  1. Familiarity: The patterns in a narcissistic relationship can feel familiar. This can be confused with comfort or attraction.

  2. Misunderstanding Intensity: The ups and downs of a narcissistic relationship can feel like passion or deep love.

  3. Unresolved Trauma: If someone has not healed from their past, they may try to “fix” it by getting into similar situations.

  4. Low Self-Esteem: Being in a narcissistic relationship can hurt self-worth, making it hard to see what a healthy relationship looks like.


The Impact of This Mistake

Dating people with narcissistic traits can have serious effects:

  • It can keep the cycle of abuse going.

  • Healing can take longer.

  • Negative beliefs about oneself can get stronger.

  • Opportunities for healthy relationships may be missed.


Breaking the Cycle

The first step to breaking this pattern is recognizing it. Therapy can help people:

  • Heal from past trauma.

  • Spot narcissistic traits in new partners.

  • Set healthy expectations for relationships.

  • Build self-esteem and learn to set boundaries.


Remember, healing takes time. With awareness and support, it is possible to break free from this cycle and create healthy, loving relationships.


You got this. 


Stay in Power.

Homeyra Faghihi, PsyD, LCSW

Empowerment Coach - Founder | Power to the Self Online Coaching


 

Homeyra Faghihi’s Professional Bio:


Homeyra Faghihi, PsyD, LCSW

Homeyra Faghihi, PsyD, LCSW, coaches women who struggle to say no to set kind and clear boundaries and ask for what they want. Homeyra is an Empowerment Coach, a Doctor of Psychology, a psychotherapist of 25 years in California, Certified Domestic Violence Counselor, and a Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician. She brings all that experience into her individual and group coaching programs. Homeyra’s mission is to help women reconnect with their self-worth that is buried under persistent self-doubt and self-judgment.


Please note: No psychotherapy services are offered through this website. Coaching and education, only.



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